I live in failure and that can be success
I live in failure.
I live in failure because I had set goals for my time in KK in Malaysia:
To find a good new client
To be able to stay in a handstand position
To improve my rope jumping technique
To finish up the client project I have
There are also new ones that came up along the way:
Progress in the Bullet Journal Power course to organize my life better
And the truth is, that in the end I will most likely not finish the client project. For finding the new client, I had conversations with different people and applied to different freelancer positions, but so far the next deal isn’t closed.
I keep falling off the handstand, not being able to stay more than a second in a straight position. I keep tripping over the rope while trying to do arm cross-overs. I have been so bad at integrating the movement in my jumping routine, that I have done specific sessions to learn the technique.
Regarding my projects, I have many ideas, I have many unfinished projects. Some that are there on hold, to be further defined or dying out.
As said, I live in constant failure.
But hold on, let’s take a different look at it.
I have made many improvements in the client project. The feedback has been positive with the features I have implemented.
I have had conversations with different people who were interested in my services as a freelancer and want to collaborate with me. I have learned from what people with more experience have shared with me. There is a deal that we might close soon.
Sunbathe is out. We are going to work together this week to try to improve the loading time for the Android version and finally do the official launch for the people who registered in our waiting list.
I managed to stay in a handstand position longer than I had ever stayed before, and the movement seems more in control. I have been consistently showing up to the gym to follow the handstand workout plan.
It is the first time that I have trained the jump rope cross-overs, and I am slowly improving, I keep working on it.
I have been setting three tasks a day for three weeks now. At night, I have been analyzing my day and planning the next one for seven minutes. In the morning, before starting to work, I spend two minutes reviewing the tasks for that day.
I have written a list of more than a hundred life dreams I have and that I would like to achieve. This is part of setting my direction and meaning to my daily tasks, it is part of the Bullet Journal Power course.
It might seem that I live in constant failure. But that might be a good thing because I keep fighting for what I want no matter what.
That microsecond that I stay in a straight position while doing the handstand gives me satisfaction. Seeing Sunbathe work makes me feel like I am contributing to the world in the way I want, in a way that I feel creates value for others. I am creating a useful service.
It is easy to get stuck in the failure mode. But failure is just a word. It is not a tangible object. It is a mindset. Reminding yourself of the path that you have taken and analyzing the position where you are takes effort, but it can be rewarding.
A friend of mine was sharing these words with me.
In many ways I think she is right, enjoying life is also part of the process and that’s success.
👩💻 What have I been up to
The life that I have chosen to live right now amplifies who you are.
My long weekend at Mulu, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, was gorgeous. There were some days with lots of walking in nature. Sometimes under the rain. Sometimes alone and sometimes with others. I took the time to read and write too. I did the 100 dreams exercise. That exercise has been helping me out to connect with the kind of person who I want to become.
In a way, that exercise is funny because I have very diverse dreams. Ranging from being able to make shapes with the foam of the coffee, taking care of cows, helping women achieve their first pullups, go to a GopherCon, make a saas in the area of health that is useful for others or swim with whales.
We were in the darkness walking in one of the caves. After a while, we arrived to a viewpoint where you could see the outside. The view was breathtaking. You could hear the sound of the water entering the cave. It was loud. The green of the plants outside the cave was bright. At that moment, I felt like crying. I felt like life made sense. All the efforts, the path that I had chosen that lead me there, all the unknowns that I will never clear out, the daily fights. Everything is going to be alright, and I will keep trying to become better with a smile inside and outside.
🧠 What’s next
By Friday, I will talk with Alberto, we will debug together the reason why Sunbathe is slow in Android and plan the official release! Super happy that the world will soon see the app.
Was asking around on Reddit about BodyMeter, but I decided I have a lot going on, so I will leave it as is for now to be more present in the other projects I have at the moment.
Have a good week.
I love you very much world,
Julia